Aww rats! Looks like I didn't make the cut... I think it's probably because I said... "Jesus Tapdancing Christ on a Hotplate" one too many times...
But that dude in the Blondie "rapture" video was one hell of a fine tapdancer in his own right... I wonder if he made it...
Oh well, I guess God works in mysterious ways, and has a reason for everything... You'd think, for example that EVERY SINGLE EFFIN' Goldman Sachs EMPLOYEE will not show up for work on Monday... I'm sure they were all 'chosen' (because besides the fact that they are doing 'God's work', they're all 'God's chosen people')...
My mission in life, I suppose, is to go to Pimlio Race Track today and bet the Preakness...
If you like using "socioeconomics" to pick horses names, how can you NOT like ANIMAL KINGDOM? (the morning line favorite at [2-1] & Kentucky Derby winner)... See, that's why I know I wasn't raptured, because if I was in heaven, the Preakness entry would have probably been "HEAVENLY KINGDOM" or something... Or, I suppose, if you think you have until midnight tonight for that rapture thingy to come calling, you could go with MIDNIGHT INTERLUDE...
CV??? I don't really like betting favorites, so I won't be on Animal Kingdom...
I'm going to go with a 3 horse exacta box of DANCE CITY, MUCHO MACHO MAN, & ASTROLOGY...
A 3 horse exacta box 'costs' 6x the amount of the wager amount... So, a $2 (3 horse exacta box) would run you $12...
I'll go 10x that... $120 (3 way box) on DANCE CITY, MUCHO MACHO MAN, & ASTROLOGY...
BTW... The "Woodland Vase" (the trophy for the Preakness winner), is the most expensive trophy in all of sports (and that was BEFORE silver went to $50 an ounce)...
The Preakness Stakes is also called "The run for the Black Eyed Susans" (which is the state flower of Maryland... The winning horse is draped with a blanket of Black Eyed Susans in the winners circle...
Only trouble is... They're not really Black Eyed Susans... The BES does not usually bloom in Maryland until the heat of July & August... So what you're probably seeing is a blanket of yellow petaled daisies, with the button in the middle painted black...
Like the Kentucky Derby (roses), the ladies come decked out in fancy hats...
1 - 1/4 cup vodka
4 cups orange juice
1 - 1/4 cup light rum
ice ring
3/4 cup triple sec
1 tbspfresh lime juice
4 cups pineapple juice
Nobody really drinks that though... Most of the hoi polloi are just in the infield in the largest keg party in the world... Enjoying the:
SOUNDS
SIGHTS
...& of course, THE not to be missed RUNNING OF THE URINALS
What most people don't know, however, is that the famous INFIELD tradition at the Preakness did NOT actually originate from the Preakness itself... Instead, it originated to accomodate the throngs of fans, who in 1938, wanted to be part of the SEABISCUIT vs. WAR ADMIRAL match race (which was called the "Pimlico Special"...
MOVIE VERSION
ACTUAL FILMAGE