Morning Audibles 8.20.10

OK so here's a quickie for OPEX Friday... Not much to report except that S&P futures are tanking and perched perilously on support... The SNB is reportedly selling Euros... The Government is lying to you... & there are people on TV who will tell you how to trade all this mess... Here's the quick rundown...

Senior NOAA Scientist Admits He Lied That Gulf Spill Oil Is Gone, Puts Administration's Spill-Disclosure "Credibility" In Question

http://www.zerohedge.com/article/senior-noaa-scientist-admits-he-lied-gulf-spill-oil-gone-puts-administrations-spill-disclosu

Top Oil Expert: Geology is “Fractured”, Relief Wells May Fail and Oil May Leak for Years … BP is Using a “Cloak of Silence”, and Refusing to Share Even Basic Data with the Government

http://www.zerohedge.com/article/top-oil-expert-geology-fractured-relief-wells-may-fail-and-oil-may-leak-years-bp-using-cloak

Treasuries Rise, Stocks Fall on Economy

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2010-08-20/asian-stocks-decline-yen-strengthens-on-concern-global-growth-is-slowing.html

Hear that people? Stocks are falling because of "the economy" (so go back to your "Cheerios" - try not to spit them out as you read idiotic headline teasers).. Here's what it looks like on one of those fancy heat maps...

And all this could have been avoided if you didn't go out and buy that STUPID McMansion (on Bush's watch)...

Hey, but look, even if you made a poor decision (cause that bad man had you fooled), you can "double-down" & RE-FINANCE it on Obama's watch... Then take all your clothes off and go down to the beach and help him "kick somebodys ass"...

Brit millionaire offers one million dollar to streak naked in front of Obama

http://www.newkerala.com/news2/fullnews-22853.html

Confused as hell as to how you should trade all of this? Well, the FAST MONEY traders on CNBC got your back on that one (literally - they DO - they have your back squarely in the crosshairs of their high powered rife scope)... Your FIRST TRADE this morning (according to "Kelly"), should be to buy PUTS...

Also from Kelly... Buy TLT right after a meteoric rise...

I don't know about anybody else, but it seems like Kelly is trying to do this to your portfolio...

(Note: If the market REALLY tanks today - Kelly's trade may be a good one - but "FIRST TRADE"? - C'Mon Man)...We'll see how it goes, but if it doesn't work out, people around the FAST MONEY desk might be singing...

But that shouldn't be too hard... They've always been good for a nice SONG & DANCE...

SPX 60 min. 10 weeks

short yellow bus version

TBT