Morning Audibles

Ladies & Gents... I've decided to take a week off (starting today)...

What you can expect from this blog until the Monday after the Thanksgiving holiday is the following:

- I will do the WEEKEND FOOTBALL PICKS (which are published Saturday Morning at 8AM).
- I'm hoping Amen Ra & Andy T will do their usual posts (I'm making this decision at midnight, so I haven't had time to consult with either.
- I hope you can content yourself with filling out the comment sections of their threads. For continuity sake, since next week is a short week, perhaps I'll just put up a simple morning thread to start the day. (so nothing drastic may, in fact, change)

By the Monday following Thanksgiving, I'll have had time to "re-evaluate" my role in presenting ideas and opinions (ahab has convinced me that I need to do this - I've always respected his input, and he's been a valuable contributer across many blogs - so if he is questioning my integrity or honesty - I think it's time for me to do some soul searching)...

I'm going to leave you all with a little history here in the process...

I think MOST of my involvement in blogging began on this day, on this thread (at TBP)... (This was when Ritholtz comment sections would stretch into the hundreds... I remember one Friday getting it to near 400... Nowadays, Ritzy is lucky to even get to triple digits on a thread (unless he tosses up some kind of Pelosi versus Palin nonsense out there for shits & giggles)... Then you can be sure to have Venn Data and friends tell you about as much as how George Bush was resonsible for everything as CV talked about fitness & healthcare in this one...

http://www.ritholtz.com/blog/2009/06/how-trillion-dollar-deficits-were-created/

Take time if you will, read it if you're interested... Many of you here actually posted comments to that thread (so it's kind of fun because it's a lot like looking at a yearbook)... I have to laugh (at myself) a little, in retrospect, and realizing how much effort it appears I put into dominating that conversation... It's not (or should I say "wasn't") my intention to do so... I simply have a vivid imagination... Add to that that I'm quite animated and enthused when engaged in a topical debate of interest... I'll take a wild guess and say that if anything I'd penned was "offensive", or "boring" in any way, the comment section would not have swelled the way it did...

That was a particularly interesting debate... Perhaps one of the best EVER at TPB... It 'seemed' to get off topic (and I apologized at least 2 times in the comment section to BR - tho I tried to also suggest that the subject was manifestly an offshoot of the original thread)... I tried to "keep it close" so to speak... Probably failed... But "tried"... CV, unless provoked, typically displays good manners...

Many commenters expressed (in that thread), how happy they were in discussing the topic (the "morphed" version - in fact)... My "tone", as always tends to hit hard, but I don't consider myself disrespectful... Arrogant yes, disrespectful no... I often use comical metaphors to emphasize a point (when I talk about "cheetos" & "fat slobs", I'm using terms that evoke emotion)... That's how one stirs up debate... I wasn't referring to anyone personally... Just using the terms, and applying them to a general condition as pertaining to the argument at hand...

I have been in fitness for almost 30 years, hold 2 advanced degrees, & have written 3 instructor manuals on the subject of professional fitness instruction... I have traveled to over 45 countries in the world (working - not visiting)... I speak 4 languages, and understand a thing or two about other cultures... I lived 12 years in Europe, and another 12 years in Southern California... I don't walk into bars and drop these things as "lines" to pick up girls... I only bring it up on those (or these) rare instances where I'm forced to define the fact that I actually might know what I'm talking about on a certain subject... When I do that, it might NOT be clear to the person I'm debating that I'm framing that foundation NOT as a dismissal of THEIR ideas, but simply as a justification for my own ideas (or at least my right to have an idea)... It's my way of saying... "I respect your opinion, but I want to emphasize that what I'M expressing is not something I'm just making it up off the top of my head... THAT'S A VERY DIFFICULT THING TO DO IN BLOGGING (because you're not looking into someones eyes)... Furthermore, they don't know you from Jack (until they take the time)... I suppose my motto would be "bring your best game if you want to debate me" (not because I'm smart, but because I'm animated & relentless)... Many times, with me, it's a war of attrition... I'm aware of that... I'm not particularly PROUD of that (because I lose a lot of potential friends along the way)... But I also have a deep seeded notion that the people who don't have the stamina to fight to the death, AREN'T the ones I can really count on in the end (in blogging, or frankly, IN LIFE)...

It's sad to lose friends... But I feel you have to constantly strive for the deepest definition of what you call "friend"... It's very well defined in the Marine Corps... Plattoon, Corps, Country God... Otherwise, the security blanket that you cloak yourself in, in the end, isn't what you'd deluded yourself into believing...

How ironic, that I hear that topic being bantered about EVERY DAY in the blogosphere (when people discuss their soul relationships with THEIR OWN COUNTRY & IT'S LEADERS)... I hear so many people questioning that TRUST that they thought they had all these years...

Anyway... Enough about my "origins" of blogging... But I needed to identify that as a starting point for many things that have happened since, and of course, where that leaves me today...

That thread (from Ritholtz - the one linked above), was basically the thing that got me kicked off that site... I went in and out of posting for a month or two later (sometimes having to do so on NEW handles)... But I can't refrain from being a lightning rod... I've mostly only used my real name as a handle on various blogs... I don't delibritely HIDE behind my internet handle... I realize that certain people (for professional reasons) have the need to do so... But I don't... I feel it's a way of "keeping me honest"... IOW - If I were flat out just being offensive to people on purpose, I wouldn't want them to know where it was coming from, right? They may decide to dig up all kinds of information about me, and keep little notebooks... Hell - they may hire thugs to appear at my very doorstep some day... No - I don't hide... Ritholtz doesn't hide either... That's him... That's Barry (like it or not)... Keeping YOURSELF honest makes you accountable for your statements... So if I "cross the line" (which is impossible to avoid on occasion), I'm the first to stand up and admit it... It's the quid pro quo (self imposed)...

I'll leave it up to all of you to decide if I was a "disrespectful" lightning rod (you'd have to read the entire comment section - maybe a couple of times - to put yourself into the "mood" of the moment)... Frankly - I don't expect that anyone has the time to do that... but IF YOU DO... it may explain a lot of things... IF YOU DON'T (spend time to peruse the comment section)... Then it proves that you're probably more willing to simply "have opinions" about CV and drop one liners amongst your friends, than you are to really give something the benefit of analysis... Don't ever be guilty of letting reality ever cloud your opinion on things...

That was also the introduction of THOR into the blogosphere (at least the Ritholtz one)... I suppose it starts out OK, but by the end he's calling me an angry white male whose peer group is the UNI-BOMBER...

I'd never met, or conversed with this person before in my life... I'm guessing that he simply decided that he didn't like who I was or was representing...

Fast forward... Andy T started a blog later that summer, and many of us morphed over... Andy ended his project at the end of the year, and bergsten started a blog... Many here have already been through the explanation of that transition, but the end result was that the blogs split apart at that time...

Let me explain something right now... This has to do with "concept"... I DID NOT START THE BLOG (in January) because I wanted a little sewing circle, or chat room... Instead, I considered it a professional PRODUCT... A commodity, a widget...

I'm not monetizing this blog right now (but I'd consider those aspects under a particular set of circumstances)... Bergsten and I have discussed "monetization" at various points in the past... Don't OVERRATE that admission for it speaks to nothing other than:

- "Hey - I'm serious about presenting good work to the best of my ability"
- "I'm devoting a lot of personal time and effort into this" (not commenting - THREADING is something more)... Commentators can come and go and hardly have to devote anything at all - unless they desire to stick around and become a part of the makeup of the effort... Those that do - are rewarded... You can usually tell the difference by whether the blog author ENGAGES the contributor on a regular basis - or simply tosses a line out (because they basically see them as only someone who is adding numbers or flags to the comment count)...
- I view this [blog] as a "product" (not as a chatroom)

When viewed from that perspective (when someone has a "product on the market" - whether the product is an automobile company, a smart phone, a TV network, or a blog), naturally you're going to go to great lengths to defend it (if it's your sweat & blood)... You're even going to go beyond... You're literally out to DESTROY your competition...

If you're Steve Jobs, you want nothing more than everyone with an iPhone, PAD, whatever... If you're GM, you want everyone in Volts, Camaros, & Trucks... If you're MSNBC, you want FOX off the air... Get it? If you DON'T want that those things, then you're not much of an entrepeneur...

Ironically... Usually... You relish competition... It's the worlds way of telling you "Bring it, son, or you're gonna get buried"... It keeps you in the game when your competitors "one up" you on something... You take a moment to be friendly, acknowledge it... Then go back to the chalkboard and go back on the attack...

I remember quite vividly (on bergsten's blog)... When Thor posted his first foto essay (as a thread)... CV was the first one to make a complimentary comment that day about how it "looked" good and I thought he was on the right track... Then I went back to my own space, back into assassination mode, and conjured up ways to take my own presentations to the next level... Some are hits [my presentations], some are misses... But the EFFORT is always genuine (which is all CV has ever been since the TBP thread - and frankly - in my private life)...

What's important for me to express in this moment is CONCEPT... If you all understand that I'm trying to polish my skills at presenting a VERIFIABLE PRODUCT here (something that may, in the future, have value on the open market)... Then you can embrace the need to be "competitive" (which can read as "nasty" sometimes if you're clueless to the game)...

So to bring the same argument closer to the present... Most of you know that bergsten shut down the blog started after Andy's, and others have formed their own group... As "chief" contributer to this blog (although Amen Ra & Andy, I consider equal partners - and FRANKLY, I might have ceased operations already had it not been for them)... Anyway... let's call me "strategic chief" (or "guidance chief")... I felt it was my objective to DEFINE to many of you out there what the DIFFERENCE (in product) you're getting with this blog versus others...

Now I smile :-) Why?

Because as "publisher"... I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW TO THINK... As "entrepeneur" I have to try different methods and watch and see how the offerings (and behavior) are responded to... I'll give you an example... Remember those AAPL ads that had that hippy looking kid (who was Apple), and the nerdy fat dude in the business (who was supposed to represent Microsoft)?...

Frankly, that was kind of MEAN... But that's business... If you were an Apple die hard, you probably LOVED the ads... If you hated Apple, you probably HATED the ads... The rest got divided up in the process... Nevertheless, it was CLEVER AS HELL because that's exactly what you want as an entrepeneur... A better identification of who your audience is, and who isn't... You're not going to win them all... Ever!

Now - the other blog... It's quite possible that they NEVER CONSIDERED THEMSELVES in a war of this sort... That's fine... But I'm also thinking that the Taliban wonders why the hell the Soviets & Americans have been traipsing all over their land for the past 30+ years as well... Sometimes you're in a war and you don't even know it...

Anyway... I'm actually at the point, right now... that I'm about willing to lay down my arms and recall the troops home... Why? Because yesterday I got into a thread discussion with several of the protagonists (at the other blog)... I was finally "appeased" by some of the admissions... To paraphrase:

"Fuck off" (of several weeks ago)... was diluted down to "Please go away"... I'm really not being facetious when I say that... Why? Because going back to the first day a person ever conversed with me & called me the UNIBOMBER...to that same person ridiculing me to no end for starting my own blog...to that same person spending his own personal time digging up fotos from me in 1986 to make funny jokes about my hair & exercise attire...to that same person telling me to fuck off... to that same person always acting as in a pack of wolves trying to discredit one individual (me- fighting for a TRUTHFUL representation of my honor & intentions)... Well, that was the first time this SOMEONE actually sounded somewhat polite & apologetical... While I never got the apology I'd sought since June 2009... I figured that was about as good as it was going to get...

Basically, I thought... "I'll take it"...

As I always do... I made an attempt to express that ("I'll take it")... But as has happened many times in the past, I was also censored in doing that... I asked... AS A GESTURE... that my comment NOT be removed (despite the fact that this is a blog that swears up and down that comments are never censored or deleted)...

Here was the first effort... (6:27)

Gone... VANISHED

Then came the final effort (some hours later, as I was involved watching football)... (10:51)

(I apologize for not having the 2nd piece to that - I'd copied and pasted it - but somehow neglected to save... Nevertheless my main expression was contained therein)...

I made one simple plea... Please do not delete this comment, and I will honor my word not to make my presence felt in your new domain...

There were two particular links that I made in that post [which was deleted by the blog hosts]...

- One was this link to the (6:27), which you needn't click on now because at this point, it's just above... I wasn't going to make that OBVIOUS, but alas my hand was eventually forced...

- The 2nd is an apology to DL... It PAINED me to see a blog comment launched at me by someone who evidently didn't realize that I'd made a FULL APOLOGY and RETRACTMENT of the comments I'd made to DL... You see, CV is engaged in a 24/7 evaluation of his own efforts & misgivings... I'm usually the FIRST to admit I'm wrong, or am acting irrationally... I made a full apology to DL, but unfortunately, that seems to have been lost... It shouldn't be... Because it's still there in the public domain if anyone would expend the effort to find it... karen (& others) were quite happy that I'd expressed that apology at that moment and made comments about it... Others don't seem as willing...

Actually... I dug it up anyway... Here's the link to my apology to DL that Thor & denise saw fit for you not to see (as expressed in that post)... I wrote it first thing the very next morning)...

http://traders-anonymous.blogspot.com/2010/11/morning-audibles_10.html?showComment=1289392221041#c6422794540434827044

- Also, there is the start of an explanation to Mutt (before the screen shot is clipped)... I regret now that I've lost the rest of that post... I neglected to save it in TEXT before hitting send... I suppose I was relying on that comment NOT being DELETED by the authors of the blog (because it was - in fact - somewhat of a DEAL)...

After the DEAL... This is all I saw...

http://anonymoustraders.blogspot.com/2010/11/unemployment-discrimination.html?showComment=1290124789601#c7403325146496751508

http://anonymoustraders.blogspot.com/2010/11/unemployment-discrimination.html?showComment=1290131095260#c7324562637202106386

You must understand that until that point... I'd NOT CONSIDERED their "domain" THEIR DOMAIN... If you read my words above, you'd know that that would be akin to GM coming out today and saying "OK we have a company, and IPO, we sell cars... So now NOBODY IN THE WORLD is allowed to make any cars anymore, or drive them on the information superhighways"... All activity must stop... You're not allowed to challenge us with better models... All other TV networks, if you don't agree with Chris Matthews, Rachel Maddow, or Keith Olberman, you must go off the air... You must convert all your phones to iPhones... You have to be bullish on stocks...

Now that that has been defined, (and admitted to) last night (both in terms of pleas & censure)... I feel much better... See? Before I was thinking that I was challenging a line of thinking with dissenting opinions... Now I know that dissenting opinions are not welcome there... & that RE-DEFINES my belief, and guides it in a different direction...

I know now that they want a sewing circle... I'd thought I was competing against a blog (and instead they just want to be FACEBOOK)...

For posterity... I assure everyone I'm not "making this up" (nor ever was)... Above are the screenshots of my deleted posts (apparently - your eyes are much too delicate to know the real truth... None of you are capable of understanding & deciding for yourselves, so they've been secreted away from you for your own good)...

Sadly - I could never get anyone to simply let those comments be published, and have everyone go home happy... Seems they didn't want it bad enough...

Ironically though... In a twist of fate, it appears that they might have WON after all... Because this experience (of being DELETED), has deleted my enthusiasm (for the moment), of bringing facts & truth to the forefront...

I need a break...

Amen & Andy... Can you both spell CV for a few plays while he catches his breath?

Damn I hate lies!