Morning Audibles

OK... So I guess it's about time for another ANNOTATED BERNANKE installment (in case you missed BERNANKRUPT's "op-ed" piece in the Washington Post yesterday)...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/11/03/AR2010110307372.html

"Two years have passed since the worst financial crisis since the 1930s dealt a body blow to the world economy."


Translation: 23 years have passed since me & my predecessor started blowing bubbles that started the ball rolling on this mess... The last 2 years were when the "money shot" moment occurred...

"Working with policymakers at home and abroad, the Federal Reserve responded with strong and creative measures to help stabilize the financial system and the economy."

Translation: change "policymakers" to "our slave master bankers" - keep the rest...

"These steps helped end the economic free fall and set the stage for a resumption of economic growth in mid-2009."

Translation: These steps ensured that our bonuses have been paid on time and that the "hookers" & "coke dealers" won't have to go on unemployment...

"Notwithstanding the progress that has been made, when the Fed's monetary policymaking committee - the Federal Open Market Committee (FOMC) - met this week to review the economic situation, we could hardly be satisfied."

Translation: When we're not watching porn on our computer screens, we've discovered there are actually NEW ways to shake you down...

"Unfortunately, the job market remains quite weak; the national unemployment rate is nearly 10 percent, a large number of people can find only part-time work, and a substantial fraction of the unemployed have been out of work six months or longer."

Translation: If all you people that get fired from your jobs would turn into pornstars & crack dealers... You'll see how our policies would begin to come to fruition.

"Although low inflation is generally good, inflation that is too low can pose risks to the economy."

Translation: Says the chairman of the ponzi scheme fractional reserve banking system... "We're the fractional reservists - and TRUST US, we're here to help"...

"In the most extreme case, very low inflation can morph into deflation (falling prices and wages), which can contribute to long periods of economic stagnation."

Translation: Deflation sucks because we don't get bonuses that way...

"The FOMC decided this week that, with unemployment high and inflation very low, further support to the economy is needed."

Translation: Lucky for us that the "inflation" numbers we use don't include food, fuel, and things that you need to survive... We've loaded up our balance sheet with CATFOOD FUTURES, which is why we're targeting this inflation metric... We're hoping the rest of you will just get with the program & die...

"This approach eased financial conditions in the past and, so far, looks to be effective again. Stock prices rose and long-term interest rates fell when investors began to anticipate the most recent action."

Translation: All we know how to do is blow asset bubbles... It's like Christmas every morning...

"Easier financial conditions will promote economic growth. For example, lower mortgage rates will make housing more affordable and allow more homeowners to refinance. Lower corporate bond rates will encourage investment. And higher stock prices will boost consumer wealth and help increase confidence, which can also spur spending. Increased spending will lead to higher incomes and profits that, in a virtuous circle, will further support economic expansion."

Translation: Prices for everything are going up (get used to it)... The purchasing power of your dollars are going down... When you see it at the gas pump, we'll rattle some sabres with the arabs or blow up a couple of oil rigs... The President will ask you to "make sacrifices", and do his part by sending his wife & her entourage on a Spanish vacation... You'll see pictures of it in the tabloids and think you need a new designer bag... As for food, your bread will still cost $1.89 a loaf at the supermarket, but you won't notice that the loaf just got a little smaller... 2 large tomatoes will cost you more than 5 bucks... Michele Obama will get some slaves to grow okra in the White House garden, put them in little jars with bows on them, and go on THE VIEW to show you how cute they are... See people? It's YOUR FAULT!

"While they have been used successfully in the United States and elsewhere, purchases of longer-term securities are a less familiar monetary policy tool than cutting short-term interest rates. That is one reason the FOMC has been cautious, balancing the costs and benefits before acting. We will review the purchase program regularly to ensure it is working as intended and to assess whether adjustments are needed as economic conditions change."

Translation: We don't know what the fuck we're doing... We're just pushing all the buttons and pulling all the levers at once hoping the plane will come out of its tailspin...

"Our earlier use of this policy approach had little effect on the amount of currency in circulation or on other broad measures of the money supply, such as bank deposits. Nor did it result in higher inflation."

Translation: The last time we did this, the banks used the money to pay bonuses, and create a cash flow hoarde to last them a few more months... Frankly, they're tired of all that austerity crap... This time they're GOING TO VEGAS baby!

"The Federal Reserve cannot solve all the economy's problems on its own."

Translation: You're GREAT at CREATING them on your own though, aren't you? SUCK IT UP people!

"The Fed is committed to both parts of its dual mandate."

Translation: Part 1 is turning you upside down... Part 2 is shaking every last coin out of your pocket...

"Steps taken this week should help us fulfill that obligation."

Translation: Agreed!

http://traders-anonymous.blogspot.com/2010/07/morning-audibles-72210-annotated.html

(CV's original Bernanke Annotated - July, 2010)

Anyway... We're all so glad that you took the time to open up to us Ben... We're so glad to hear you're feelin' alright... Unfortunately, we're not feelin' too good ourselves...

Seems I got to have a change of scene

Cause every night I have the strangest dreams

Imprisoned by the way it used to be

Left here on my own or so it seems

I got to leave before I start to scream

But someone's locked the door and took the key

You're Feelin' alright

Not feelin' too good myself

You're Feelin' alright

Not feelin' too good myself

Boy you sure took me for one big ride

Even now I sit and wonder why

And when I think of you I start to cry

Got to stop belivin' in all your lies

Cause I got to much to do before I die