2011 NFL Preview - "Pre-PreSeason Version"


---THIS SPACE RESERVED FOR CV's PICKS (RESULTS)---


CV's PICKS - 2011 YTD Totals (all "ATS" [against the spread - wager totals include the vig lost])

2011 NCAA Picks (aggregate): 0
2011 NCAA (unit picks differential): +0
NCAA 2011 Wager Total: (+$0) 'frn's'
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2011 NFL Picks (aggregate):  0
2011 NFL (unit picks differential): +0
NFL 2011 Wager Total: (+$0) 'frn's'

Gameday/week writeup...
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WEEK 1 NFL PICKS
Full game write-ups & fantasy football notes will be posted throughout the day & before Sunday kickoff

THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL

 New Orleans Saints at Green Bay Packers
Thursday September 8, 8:30PM (EST)
CV's Projected Line (before preseason): Packers by 5

EARLY BIRD GAME NOTES: It used to be that the home team (Super Bowl winner) dominated these affairs... It seems to me that there was alot of celebrating going on in Green Bay in the offseason, whilst the Saints were 'royally pissed' that they let Marshawn fucking Lynch ruin their SB run last year... Tons of value with the Saints here...
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SUNDAY EARLY GAMES (Sunday 9/11 - 10 year anniversary)


 Detroit Lions (0-0) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-0) (1:00 EST)
CV's Projected Line (before preseason): Bucs by 5.5

EARLY BIRD GAME NOTES: If the Lions come in within 6 points, you probably have to take them... Tampa Bay is going to be the NEW Houston Texans for the next year or so... You know... that 'sexy' underdog pick to go all the way that falls on their ass - ror... Probably Matt Stafford will blow out his shoulder before halftime though, & Calvin Johnson will be forced to become a pass blocker... Such is life in the Motor City...
 Atlanta Falcons (0-0) at Chicago Bears (0-0) (1:00 EST) 
CV's Projected Line (before preseason): Bears by 3

EARLY BIRD GAME NOTES: Fuck the Falcons... They're CV's 'preseason pick' to be the most overrated team in the NFL... They suck on the road, & hell, I don't kno... Mike Martz kinda got something going with Jay Cutler last year (despite all the 'quitter' drama - remember that? - didn't think so... That's why they pay CV the BIG BUCKS... to remember FOR you... In between bouts of remembering that the fed has nothing to do with anything)... The Bears dealt Greg Olsen to the Panthers (suckas)...
 Buffalo Bills (0-0) at Kansas City Chiefs (0-0) (1:00 EST)
CV's Projected Line (before preseason): Chiefs by 6

EARLY BIRD GAME NOTES: Oh wait... I spoke too soon... Fuck the Chiefs... They're CV's 'preseason pick' to be the most overrated team in the NFL (well - they'll both compete for the title)...

Charlie Weis is now a GATOR, & Todd Haley is an incompetent imbecile (which means he ought to be a central banker or politician)... If the CHIEFS are anything more than a FG favorite here I'm putting a BRAZILLION units on the BILLS (who look like they've acquired the services of Brad Smith from the Jets)...
Indianapolis Colts (0-0) at Houston Texans (0-0) (1:00 EST)
CV's Projected Line (before preseason): Colts by 1

EARLY BIRD GAME NOTES: Eh... Fuck the TEXANS too while we're at it... Talk about overrated... It's not even 'sexy' anymore to have them as a preseason darkhorse to make the playoffs... 8-8 here we come! (which means they'll be 8-7 for the rest of the year after this game... whoopee!)...
 Philadelphia Dog Killers (0-0) at St. Louis Rams (0-0) (1:00 EST)
CV's Projected Line (before preseason)Dog Killers by 2.5

EARLY BIRD GAME NOTES: I'm predicting that #7 (Eagles QB) will go back to dog killing by the end of this year... The Eagles had Kevin Kolb... He probably could have kept them in play for a few years (while they revamped their decrepit offensive line... BUT NO! He'll move on to Arizona (better for HIM), while the NFC East chases dog killer QB around the gridiron & forces them to make a telephone call the Brett Favre to save the season... Can it get more pathetic?... YES... it can!... The phone call might end up being to Vince Young... Well Philly, at least you have the Phillies, cheesesteaks, & the Flyers show up every once in awhile... Maybe dog killing will make a comeback...
 Pittsburgh Steelers (0-0) at Baltimore Ravens (0-0) (1:00 EST)
CV's Projected Line (before preseason):  Ravens by 3

EARLY BIRD GAME NOTES: Yeah... While we're at it... FUCK the Steelers too... You know... In the last, like, decade... the only SB 'winners' that failed to make the playoffs the next year were the Steelers... So now what happens after they LOSE a SB?... I don't want to get too giddy here... The Ravens/Steelers gigs are always a FG... But I'll take the Ravens here... 9/11... If it weren't 4 the Washington/New York matchups, this would be a FEATURE game... Better... Because the Ravens always CHOKE in feature games... Steelers may end up signing Plaxico Burress... I hope so... The 'distraction' factor on a short porch preseason ought to keep their minds off football.. Remember, "dog killer" only started making the highlight reel his 2nd year out of prison...

 Cincinnati Bengals (0-0) at Cleveland Browns (0-0) (1:00 EST)
CV's Projected Line (before preseason): Browns by 3

EARLY BIRD GAME NOTES: Oh yeah... With all the 9/11 feature matchups, we're gonna get excited about an in-state Ohio rivalry... Go fish!... Jeez, I don't even know who to take... New coach in Cleveland vs. Marvin Lewis?... I'll get back to ya... I think Mike Brown (I only have 2 winning seasons in my 20 years as GM, but KNOW what I'm doing by not trading Carson Palmer) ought to start at QB in Cincy... #85 & TO are outta there... Cedric Benson is trying to stay out of jail... One ought to just blindly take the Browns here, except for, well, they are the Browns... THEY ARE!
 Tennessee Flaming Thumbtacks (0-0) at Jacksonville Jaguars (0-0) (1:00 EST)
CV's Projected Line (before preseason): Jaguars by 6

EARLY BIRD GAME NOTES: If there was a way that BOTH these teams could lose, it would be easier on everyone... This game portends nothing but pain... Pain from MOJO & Chris Johnson fantasy drafters, & pain that whatever happens, either side will be looking UP at Indy after week 1 (both in the division & wild card)... I've got advice for all Tenn & Jax residents... Move to NO... or Green Bay... or Baltimore... or Boston (if you want to be happy for the next 6 months)...

LATE GAMES
 Seattle Seahawks (0-0) at San Francisco 49ers (0-0) (4:15 EST)
CV's Projected Line (before preseason): 49ers by 3

EARLY BIRD GAME NOTES: Seattle has been busy in dealing Matt Hasslebeck to the Flaming Thumbtacks, & basically loading up on all the Minny rejects (Tavaris Jackson, Sidey Rice & OC)... I've got news for you 12th man fans... Sidney Rice 'worked' because of Brett Favre, Adrian Peterson, Chester Taylor, & Visanthe Shiancoe... CV is NOT predicting a miracle surprise playoff run (aka Marshawn Lynch) this year... 49ers I can't say much for either... Nice to see Jim Harbaugh in town, but I think it's going to take some time... Crabtree is already on the PUP with his foot again (proving the 49ers, again, to be an INCOMPETENT rafting franchise)... It's just not sexy anymore to be taking the 49ers (but they may win here just because Seattle will regress & basically blow goats this year)...

Carolina Panthers (0-0) at Arizona Cardinals (0-0) (4:15 EST)
CV's Projected Line (before preseason): Cardinals by 3

EARLY BIRD GAME NOTES: OTOH... Arizona is really getting it's s*** back together doing what they need to do (unless Kevin Kolb turns out to be a flop [which CV thinks WILL NOT be the case - in fact - I'd LOVE to see a rematch of the 2008/9 NFC Championship Eagles-Cards, in the playoffs this year, NFC Championship, won't happen])... That would just be so Kolb could PROVE to Andy Reid that he jumped the shark by getting on the dog killer QB wagon... Things can't get EASIER for Kolb here... He gets to BEAT UP on ANOTHER 'overrated' QB (Cam Newton)... Ought to be fun...

CV picks ARIZONA (or ST. LOUIS) to win the NFC West...

 Minnesota Vikings (0-0) at San Diego Chargers (0-0) (4:15 EST)
CV's Projected Line (before preseason):  Chargers by 8.5

EARLY BIRD GAME NOTES: All I can say is, NOT having to worry about the Brett Favre drama ought to be good for at least a touchdown here (whether that's enough to still cover is up for debate)... remember, the Chargers have a propensity to start SLOW... I keep thinking it's going to be different, but it never is... I don't have the Chargers as a "lock" to win the division (while Minny could place anywhere form 1st to last in the NFC North)... The Chargers dealt Sproles to the Saints (replacing Reggie Bush), which probably means they want to get Ryan Matthews going... Minny - Jeez I can't even say if McNabb will start at QB (or who he'll throw to)... They still have Adrian Peterson, but the dynamics are all different... That makes me a casual observer of this game...

 New York Football Giants (0-0) at Washington Redskins (0-0 (4:15 EST)
CV's Projected Line (before preseason): Giants by 3.5

EARLY BIRD GAME NOTES: You know... I used to like & respect Mike Shanahan (but the way he dealt with the players last year made me wonder... You gotta ask yourself about a guy like Shanahan... is he the 'antithesis' of Rex Ryan?... Players LOVE Rex Ryan (CV loves Rex Ryan - I was sad as hell when the Ravens lost him to the Jets [& what has Rex done but bring the perennial underachieving Jets to two straight AFC Championships])?... He'll probably realize to bring Nnamdi Asamugha in at right corner (at less pay) - that's how much players like to play for Rex Ryan... The Giants seem to have a love/hate with Tom Coughlin... 10-6 last year, but failed to make the playoffs... When the Giants start choking, the lights go out... & nowadays they're overshadowed by the Jets... I'd probably be laying the points with the Giants here, but MORE LIKELY, this pointspread is a PASS...

Note: Much fanfare here, as the NFL (on the 10 year anniversary of the 9/11 attacks on the WTC & Pentagon, schedules a game between NY & WASH... (like I REALLY feel sorry for all the Wall St. bankers, K - street lobbyists, politicians, Pentagon contractors & brass, & all their hookers & coke suppliers)... But I suppose they all have to create something to cry about for themselves... The spoiled rich grandchildren of the aunts & uncles of holocaust survivors (who work in the movie & entertainment business in Hollywood) will have to wait until next March to get their "Self serving - crying game - version 47.2" on...

SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL

 Dallas Cowboys (0-0) at New York Jets (0-0) (8:20 EST)
CV's Projected Line (before preseason): J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets by 3

EARLY BIRD GAME NOTES: Well... SOMEBODY in the Big Apple had to host a football game... IN PRIME TIME... On the 10 year anniversary of 9/11... As fate would have it... How could it NOT BE...

drumroll...

the JETS!

I know... I know... people... None of you really considered that until just now... That's why I get PAID to think for you all... Oh wait... I don't get paid anything for this... I just tell you what's going to happen (months before it does)... Just so you can IGNORE it (& laugh at it)... Then get PISSED at me for reminding you of my call after it happens...

The line here is probably right (my prediction)... But if Nnamdi Asamugha gets signed by the Jets, the odds may sweeten for the 'Boys (whereby I'd take them)... There will be plenty of time to handicap this game further as the season approaches... Which I'll be sure to do...

Note: CV has DALLAS winning the NFC East... & CV has the Jets as the first wild card team in AFC (with the Patriots winning the division)...

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL (doubleheader)

New England Patriots (0-0) at Miami Dolphins (0-0) (7:00 EST)
CV's Projected Line (before preseason): Patriots by 6



Will have game notes by week one... CV has Patriots WINNING the AFC East & possibly representing the AFC in the Superbowl...

 Oakland Raiders (0-0) at Denver Broncos (0-0) (10:15 EST)
CV's Projected Line (before preseason): Broncos by 3

Will have game notes by week one... CV has Raiders possibly WINNING the AFC West...

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PRESEASON PICKS (to make playoffs & Superbowl) - Picks to be finalized before Week 1 kickoff...

NFC East - Cowboys
NFC South - Saints
NFC North - Packers
NFC West - Cardinals
Wildcard - Falcons
Wildcard - Lions

AFC East - Patriots
AFC South - Colts
AFC North - Ravens
AFC West - Chargers
Wildcard - Jets
Wildcard - Steelers

NFC Championship - Cowboys vs. Saints
AFC Championship - Ravens vs. Patriots

Superbowl - Ravens vs. Saints

19 comments:

cv said...

So the first revision comes quickly...

Overnight, the Philadelphia Dog Killers win the Nnamdi Asamugha sweepstakes... Cv opens up the sportspage this morning to read all the sportswriters (aka Dick Bove clones), talking about how they're 'stacked' in Philly now, & that they're fasttracking them to the NFC Championship...

CV's take??? NOT SO FAST!

Let me break this down for you in a sensible manner (aka - the NOT Dick Bove methodology of "buy" ratings as far as the eye can see)... Most sportswriters latched upon the fact that the Eagles were #28th in the league in pass defense last year (a fact which was then parrotted by all the other Dick Bove wannabees)...

Well - duh...

Before the season last year, they thought Brian Dawkins was washed up and let him go to Denver (whereby he helped them IMPROVE their pass D)... So Quentin Mikael was all on his own, and Asante Samuel is a selfish, risk taking gloryhound...

Now add in the fact that the NFC East plays the washington Redskins, Dallas, & NY Giants in the division (2 games each)... Plus, in the rotation, they faced the NFC North & AFC South (which means they had to face: Matt Schaub/Andre Johnson, Peyton Manning & Co, Aaron Rodgers, Megatron, the Mike Martz offense, Donovan McNabb (twice), Tony Romo (twice), Eli Manning (twice - with all receivers healthy & Hakeem Nicks having a breakout year), and oh, just for fun, they had Matt Ryan/Roddy White on the schedule, plus the Vikings AFTER Sidney Rice got back in the lineup...

As always... the dog killers always seem to want to play LAST YEARS SCHEDULE...

Ahem... This year, they get to play the Redskins twice (you know - that awesome John beck to Santana Moss combo)... Tony Romo (twice) who hasn't played a down in more than 9 months... the Giants (twice) with an unhealthy receiving corps... Then, the AFC East (quick - can anybody tell me who is QB-ing in Miami or Buffalo)?... The awesome Jets offense that 'lights you up' for 13 points a game... Tom Brady is the lone exception, but he'll just torch the greedy Asante Samuel like he did on the practice field in New england...

For good measure... They play the Seattle (Tavaris Jackson) Seahawks...

What I'm thrilled to death to see is when they play the Arizona Cardinals... Only drawback there is that the Cards have to travel cross country to play a 1:00PM game (which is TOUGH on NFL teams)...

In summary... The addition of NA is probably enough to pull the eagles back into contention for the last 'wild card' spot (which I'd ceremoniously gifted to the Lions)... But unless Nnamdi Asamugha is also a witchdoctor (& can put Michael Vick back together when he breaks down mid-season &/or perform voodoo on Vince Young, the dog killers just wasted their money)...

Oh but... Tom Brady & the Baltimore Ravens THANK you with all their hearts...

cv said...

My PRESEASON LINE (for Rams/Eagles) probably has to change though... (from Eagles -2.5 to Eagles -4)... It's because Dick Bove will try and get you thinking that the Eagles are going to be like buying Bank of America stock...

I'll take the Rams & those kind of points...

I'll be hoping that Josh McDaniels (now with Rams) learned something from Brian Dawkins last year in Denver... That's a DOUBLE, because aside from knowing the Eagles weakness in secondary, he also played two games a year vs. the Raiders...

cv said...

Let's not forget either that McDaniels ran the New England offense while Asante Samuel was wearing those colors...

ben22 said...

That Marshawn Lynch run last year was one of the best runs I've ever seen, probably the best I've ever seen live, even my wife yelled at the tv, and she hates football

he was just tossing people around, if that can't get your team motivated in the off-season I'm not sure what would

AmenRa said...

Weekly 3LB Update 7/29/11

cv said...

@ben

That Marshawn Lynch run WAS (hands down) the highlight play of 2010... My prediction: What will it buy the Seahawks in 2011???

Ummm... LAST place in the NFC West (where 9-7 ought to win the division... They'll be LUCKY to finish ahead of the Rams & Cards, but 'may' slip by the 49ers (who will have to waste 5 wins on worrying about Mr. "King of Overratedness", Michael Crabtree...

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Back to the DOG KILLERS for a moment...

You know... To CV, it's even WORSE in Philly than I depicted above (know that I'll humbly recant all my doubts if I'm proved wrong - but listen to CV)...

As stated before... The Eagles have the awful habit of trying to play LAST YEARS SCHEDULE... Now - I'll even play 'devils advocate (against myself), and say that having what appear to be, TWO SHUTDOWN CORNERS (Samuel & Aasmugha) is what NEEDS to happen to give them a chance to get to the Super Bowl...

I'll tell you WHY they might have been thinking like that... Why it's KINDA correct... But also why it's a FAIL...

The DOG KILLERS aren't thinking 'division' with that acquisition (division being Redskins - Cowboys - Giants... 6 games on the schedule)... Hell... CV could play corner for the Eagles & probably shut down Santana Moss & Anthony Armstrong (vs. John Beck) twice a year... I might even be able to book a pick 6 in the process)...

No - Instead, the Dog Killers are thinking PLAYOFFS... They're thinking they'll have to meet either the Packers (like last year), or the Saints, or Cowboys, or maybe Cardinals in the playoffs (hell - just look at CV's pre-season playoffs picks to see which teams WILL make the playoffs - I'll save you all the bother [like I did last year by telling you to sell stocks & buy PM's])...

That's fine (thinking is allowed)... But the dog killers are also BREAKING a cardinal rule in thinking that far ahead...

Here's the rule...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qwq7BYOnDrM

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Sadly - What the dog killers fail to recognize is that their OFFENSE is overrated... Listen to me... #7 dog killer QB is only going to be healthy for about a half a season (which means they'll probably sign "psycho" QB Vince Young for the other half... OMG... if VY was ready to take a bottle of pills because of 'boos' in friggin Nashville, how the HELL is he gonna be able to handle the same in Philly???...

Weapons??? DeSean Jackson??? His career ENDED on the hit he took against Houston last year... Call him "footsteps" from here on out... They'll send him on a few "99" patterns this year (& maybe score once or twice - you know - when they're playing the Redskins or something)... But other than that... his career - going forward - CV predicts - is just glorified windsprints... The Dog killers have needed, for about 5 years now, to draft offensive linemen... Instead - they go the Jeremy Maclin route... It doesn't WORK in December/January... When the entire league is DOMES in about 20 years, I'll reconsider...

So the bottom line is that... Notwithstanding if the Dog Killers think they can shut down Jordy Nelson, Marques Colston, & Greg Jennings in January... They FAILED to account for Jermichael Finley, Jimmy Graham, &, wait for this... Darren Sproles...

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Most don't remember that if it weren't for the MIRACLE DeSean Jackson punt return as time expired vs. the Giants last year... (#2 on the UFB plays for 2010 after the Marshawn Lynch run)... The Dog Killers might NOT have made the playoffs...

But that's why they pay CV... To remember these things for you... :-)

ben22 said...

CV,


It really was the play of the year, I still can't believe he did that, it was sick


that Birds/Giants game was maybe one of the best games I've ever seen

but I don't really root for the Eagles despite my proximity

I'm an Oakland fan, through and through

I gotta say man, this post is getting me really pumped up, I can't wait for the season to start, my favorite time of the year by a long shot

ben22 said...

Also, I think Vince Young would suck in Philly, or anywhere.

Andy T said...

I'm so friggin' pumped for football again...

The Texans might even be 'watchable' this year....

We did a lot of proposition bets yday betting that the Texans would win more games than the Cowboys.

We were given a game.

so, the Cowboys would have to win 2 more games than than the Texans before we go start losing.

I love that bet right now. The cowboys schedule looks tougher with road games @Jets and @Pats.

Andy T said...

say what you will about the Dog Killers...

They were fun to watch.

I think Reid knows that the Road to the superbowl runs through Green Bay again....

You need to be able to be the Packers....and lets face it, Aaron Rodgers has taken his game to a different level.

Even if you don't have to beat the Packers, you'll probably need to beat the Saints ...and Drew Bress is no slouch.

It's a 'throwing' league right now. I like what the Eagles have done ....

Anonymous said...

re: Philly

am I the only one who thinks Andy Reid is a, really, flippin' horrible Coach?

and, as cv-- was going with, their 'Front Office' is terrible..

also, with Shanahan, in W D.C., I, too, was surprised he seemed like such a Tool..

but, past all that, 'you mean there's another Month, between now, and 'Football'?' .. Good.

:)

AAIP

cv said...

Andy kind of hit on the right theme that it's a "throwing" league right now (in the NFC)... & the road to the Superbowl will either go thru Green Bay or New Orleans (CV's bet is New Orleans)...

But the Iggles (with two shutdown corners), STILL won't be able to handle EITHER...

Rodgers has too many weapons & so does Brees (add Darren Sproles into that mix & it becomes absolutely DEADLY)...

It's not going to be Samuel or Asamugha who give up the TD's to Jimmy Graham & Sproles (it's going to be linebackers)...

The dog killers offense won't be able to match points (because by that late in the season all the little snowflakes will be in the infirmary)...

---

I'll take the Cowboys on that bet of winning more games than Houston (and give a game)...

cv said...

@AAIP

I don't know what to say about Andy Reid... On the surface... I kind of like the guy (seems like a regular guy you could sit down & have a beer with)...

Also... How can one argue with his record over the past decade???

However... BIG HOWEVER... With that kind of success... To NEVER win a Superbowl... I don't know... it's kind of Fran Tarkenton/Bud Grant-ish... Or Buffalo Bills late 80's early 90's ish...

At some point - you have to move on...

Dealing KOLB is going to prove (imo) to show eveyone how this team has been mismanaged over the past few years...

They needed to be drafting offensive linemen... Instead - they went the Al Davis route...

AmenRa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
AmenRa said...

"It rubs the lotion on it's skin or else it gets the hose again."

Anonymous said...

cv--

I hear ya, re: Reid, about 'Regular Season' "Success"..

they, surely, like some Teams could be 4-12 on an Annual basis..

tho, it just, seems to me that..given the 'Big Game/Opportunity'..He knows how to prevent Winning by being afraid of Losing..

I can't, even, begin, to think how many times he's been Running the Ball, late in Games, instead of Throwing..

How many 2nd Quarter Clocks He's 'run out'..

and, really, how many 'Clocks' He/his Team have mismanaged/fouled up..

seen too many, potential, "All-Pennsylvania" Super Bowls go wanting..for one..I guess..
~~

anyway, WOT: anyone seen any of this..
http://search.yippy.com/search?query=Werth+Utley%27s+wife&tb=sitesearch-all&v%3Aproject=clusty

rumours of Werth on Utley's wife (?)

with the signing of Pence, seems all the more likely (??)

AAIP

Matthew said...

I can't be the only one here that is tired of hearing about football. We didn't get a break this year.

cv said...

When it comes down to being 'tired' of something...

I'm much more tired of:

- hearing about the debt crisis
- seeing the TOTUS on TV
- seeing Boner on TV
- hearing about 'typical recoveries'
- wars

than I am about football...

But that's just me...

Andy T said...

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