Morning Audibles

Government Motors IPO hitting the streets and futures are pointing massively green... You know... They say that nobody "rings the bell" at the top... But this really has me wondering...

I mean, think about it, a company that was bankrupt (in an American industry that has basically been bankrupt for more than 40 years, requiring numerous bailouts)... That is majority owned by the US Government (which has presided over other such profit BLACK HOLES as The Unites States Postal Service, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, and others)... Now wants to hoist worthless equity share stakes onto the public... The pubic is supposed to soak up these worthless shares using worthless Federal Reserve Notes (of which the Fed has to "monetize" to the tune of over $100 each month just to keep the Federal debt serviced)...

Note: Here is "10 months of supply" (in $100 bill units)

http://www.pagetutor.com/trillion/index.html

Well... I decided to test for myself if this "they don't ring a bell at the top" was really true or not...

FAMOUS BELL RINGERS IN HISTORY

The "con job" going on with this IPO feels more like this enthusiastic "bell ringer"

General Motors Returns to NYSE After Raising $20 Billion in IPO

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2010-11-18/general-motors-returns-to-nyse-after-raising-20-billion-in-ipo.html

EXCERPT
"The offering from GM came 16 months after it emerged from bankruptcy and brings Chief Executive Officer Dan Akerson closer to his goal of returning the $49.5 billion the automaker received in a taxpayer bailout last year..."

Translation: "Yeah, about as close as taking one "hundo" off the stack above and doing a line of blow with it..." What the hell is all this crap about on GM anyway? (awww - it must have been EBONICS, he meant "votes" not "volts")...

What's Driving Obama's Subsidies of Chevy VOTES VOLTS?

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/11/12/AR2010111204494.html

EXCERPT
"General Motors, an appendage of the government, which owns 61 percent of it, is spending some of your money, dear reader, on full-page newspaper ads praising a government brainstorm - the Volt, Chevrolet's highly anticipated and prematurely celebrated (sort of) electric car. Although the situation is murky - GM and its government masters probably prefer it that way - it is unclear in what sense GM has any money that is truly its own. And the Volt is not quite an electric car, or not the sort GM deliberately misled Americans into expecting.


The newspaper ads proclaim, "Chevrolet Runs Deep"...

Translation: Yeah - So does ICE CUBE's "Jimmy" (so deep it'll put your butt to sleep), says IC...

"Whatever that means, if anything, it does not mean the Volt runs deep into a commute or the countryside just on electricity.


The Volt was conceived to appease the automotive engineers in Congress, which knows that people will have to be bribed, with other people's money, to buy this $41,000 car that seats only four people (the 435-pound battery eats up space)."

Translation: Hence commodity prices, and more earth scraping needed... MUCH MORE, in fact!

Rothschild Buys Indonesian Coal Stakes for $3 Billion

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2010-11-16/vallar-to-buy-berau-bumi-stakes-in-3-billion-indonesian-cash-stock-deal.html

"GM says that, battery-powered, the Volt has a 40-mile range. Popular Mechanics says 33. Thomas R. Kuhn, president of the Edison Electric Institute, the trade association of the electric utility industry, is, understandably, a Volt enthusiast: This supposedly "green" vehicle will store electric energy - 10 to 12 hours of charging on household current - produced by coal- and gas-fired power plants.


In April, in a television commercial and a Wall Street Journal column headlined "The GM Bailout: Paid Back in Full," GM's then-CEO Ed Whitacre said "we have repaid our government loan, in full, with interest, five years ahead of the original schedule." Rubbish.


GM, which has received almost $50 billion in government subventions, repaid a $6.7 billion loan using other federal funds, a TARP-funded escrow account. Sen. Charles Grassley (R-Iowa) called this a "TARP money shuffle." A commentator compared it to "paying off your Visa credit card with your MasterCard


But those who thought the ethanol debacle defined outer limits of government foolishness pertaining to automobiles were, alas, mistaken."

Oh well... Maybe these things will just GROW ON US eventually... Right? But be advised, if you're having a party in Atlanta, (and the beer is in TEXARKANA)... Well son, that's 900 miles (each way)... 900 x 2 = 1,800... divided by 33 miles a pop = 54.5 "recharging" stops...  Times 12 hours a charge = 655 hours of charging time (not including all the driving time)... 27 days! Plan accordingly! (Needless to say, these Volts are for when you have "nowhere to go, and a long time to get there")...

EAST BOUND & DOWN

Oh, and remember, you can't have a "Bandit 2" without a "Bandit 1" (for haulin' the booty)... Rumors have it that Obama has ordered the construction of the first prototype...

Working on the "ad campaign" as well... Going with the South Korean model (because rapping hamsters are all the rage)...

Rapping Hamsters Help Kia Allay Quality Concerns

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2010-11-17/rapping-hamsters-help-kia-alleviate-quality-concerns-as-sales-in-u-s-soar.html

EXCERPT
"Rapping hamsters and unemployment near a 26-year high are helping Kia Motors Corp. log record sales in the U.S. even as its cars plummet in quality surveys"

However, Obama is reportedly taking a different tact with the hamsters... He's going to use them to increase power in the TURBO models...

HorseHamster Power bitchez!

Brian Sack has been a busy little hamster I see...

IZZY

IZZY's UNIQUE POV
"I calls 'em as I sees 'em" (says Izzy)